From Ripening Tomatoes

There Is a Change in My Step

An excerpt from the book.

There is a change in my step.

I’ve always been a get-it-done kind of guy. For most of my life, walking meant getting somewhere — finishing the route, completing the task. Ever since the days of the iPod, there was usually a song in my ears urging me along.

Now there is a change in my step.

I have never liked walking much. Some of it is simple: I don’t particularly like exercise. That’s hard to admit. My wife, on the other hand, rarely misses a day — except Sunday, which she gives to church and family.

Since retirement, she has taught me how to walk differently.

We now have a routine. She walks three miles; I walk one. The route is well established, and we walk together. Sometimes we talk about heavy things — family, life, what’s unfolding. Most of the time, we are simply present to one another.

I am much taller than my wife. My stride is longer. Over the past few years, I’ve learned to adjust it to hers. She walks fast; I mostly move along beside her.

Recently, she developed some pain that makes the beginning of her walk slow. I used to start at our usual pace, assuming she would catch up. A few days ago, I noticed myself walking ahead again.

That was the moment.

I was walking on my schedule, not hers.

So I slowed down.

Now I begin beside her and stay there. There is no need to set the pace. The rhythm finds us when I stop trying to control it.

I no longer walk to finish.

I walk to remain at her side.